Tag: project

Home owner at 21 : Getting a mortgage and buying our first home

how i bought a house

Part Two

If you haven’t read Part One Click here

(Images at the end for mobile version)

I was sat in my parents conservatory scrolling through rightmove, zoopla and every estate agent site I could find, realising everything on here is still too far out of our budget. This should’ve been the first red flag to say, ‘just be patient and don’t try to rush things,’ but I ignored every single sign that told me that. I’m not a patient person.

We had booked to view multiple houses, some were lovely but the road they were on wasn’t great and I didn’t know how comfortable i’d feel walking around alone at night, others were just giant sink holes portraying our spirits at the realisation of what we could afford. Sometimes the estate agent didn’t even turn up to show us around and other times we were welcomed in by the home owner themselves and had to listen to them waffle on in every room about all the sentimental things that had occurred in each space. Some were three bed and some were two bed, some had a new fitted kitchen and appliances, some were just utter shite and some looked like it belonged to their grandma only a week ago before she’d passed away leaving her entire life inside the house.

We had been to many but realistically none of which we could afford, as first time buyers we were going to set up a help to buy ISA. This means that whatever you save, the government will give you 25% of that amount towards the purchase of your house, however the maximum you can receive is only £3,000 and one thing they don’t make clear is that this cannot be used for the deposit, the solicitors or any type of fees related to the purchase before the exchanging of contracts! So basically its like a little bonus AFTER you’ve managed to buy your house (.gov).

Another option to look into is the Help to Buy Scheme, these are for new builds predominantly. This is where you can pay only 5% deposit, have a 75% mortgage and the remaining 20% will be an equity loan. This is ideal if you have the funds and the monthly income to be able to have a mortgage (and prove it profusely) but haven’t got the spare cash for a large deposit. Bear in mind, the 20% is a LOAN and will have to be paid back, however you do not have to pay it back within the first 5 years. This is probably the best option, but, and this is a big but, you need to have an absolutely impeccable credit score to be able to secure a 75% mortgage.

It sounds so simple, and you probably think, oh well that’s fine because ive never had a credit card, ive not been behind on any bills, I’ll be fine. No. This is false, that credit score needs to be watched and looked after more than your own child. I have never had any credit cards or been in debt, this is a point down to getting a mortgage because if ive never had to pay anything back that ive borrowed how can I prove I can pay back hundreds of thousands of pounds for a mortgage?

Secondly, they go back five years when assessing you for a mortgage, this means any kind of slip up in payments at all in the last five years is under scrutiny. I am talking payments for pretty much ANYTHING. If you are buying with others, all of theirs will be scrutinised also and one tiny slip up could cost you being accepted for a mortgage. If you have a low income, chances are you aren’t going to be accepted for a substantial mortgage because you need to be able to prove you can pay back the monthly costs and still live a comfortable life, you need to prove this for a minimum of 3 months. If you are a currently a student, the likelihood is you wont get a mortgage, they don’t take into account your student loan payments but they assess any income unrelated to student finance (so a student loan is not classed as your income). When assessing how much you can pay back monthly, it is essential you can prove you can pay back what they assess your mortgage to be, plus interest, plus what the government see fit as a substantial living cost for your age/status/job for a minimum of at least 3 months. You will also have to prove you have had the substantial amount for the deposit in your account for this time also. If you work for an employer, proving your earnings requires a minimum of 3 months, however if you are self employed, you need to prove your earnings for a minimum of 3 years (this posed a problem for me), if you work for an agency things can differ from different banks/building societies/mortgage lenders/etc, but the likelihood – like being a student – is you won’t be accepted for a mortgage.

When March came I’d come across a house I knew we could afford, it was a lovely house with an absolutely huge garden. It was within the outskirts of the area we wanted to move to, not too far from either of our parents and was a price that was exceptional for Birmingham prices. We had decided we would probably have to look at a two bed as it was all we could afford but the bedroom sizes were large and there was no obvious faults with the house. I went with my mom to view the house and despite being distracted by the bright fuchsia lipstick the estate agent was wearing, I was in awe of finally being out of the conservatory and on the way to owning this house. Id already moved in in my head and pictured the entire Ikea catalogue inside the rooms. The lady had informed us that the house had fallen through at the last minute, only a week before contracts were being exchanged (that is the final part of buying a house) so she was extremely keen to sell and would most likely accept less than the asking price. She had also completely refitted and refurbished the attic and fireplace/chimney to fit safety regulations and there was a new heating system fitted, so that night we made an offer of £135,000 (asking price was 140k) and she accepted. I popped the pink prosecco and we celebrated in the garden, thinking this was it.

All we had to do now was secure the mortgage. We had just under the 10% deposit (the standard required deposit, but would have the full amount before the contracts exchanged as the process can take months, so that’s a few more months to put more money aside) what more could go wrong?

But as we frantically applied to bank after bank, different loaners and mortgage lenders we were just being consistently rejected due to the fact we had a ‘low credit score’ and the fact that I was currently a student meant I was viewed as a “dependant” (Meaning they viewed me as a non income earner and took this out of johns monthly payments to ‘sustain’ me as if I was his child). Because I am self employed (I work on social media and blogging) this meant that to not be seen as a ‘dependant’ and as a contributor to the mortgage I had to have been earning a high wage in self-employment for over three years, and provide bank statements going back the whole three years to prove this, which of course I did not have, so there I was now a liability.

We were in desperate need of talking to someone who actually understood all of this and why exactly we were being rejected. We’d never missed a council tax bill, never missed a rent payment, had the 10% required deposit, it was literally beyond me why we couldn’t get this mortgage. It felt like the whole banking system was just like ‘nah, don’t fancy giving you a mortgage tbh’, for no apparent reason. Also, just to have this conversation to fully understand what the situation was and what exactly was going on, was going to cost us hundreds of pounds. One thing for sure is I was studying in the wrong field, I should’ve become a mortgage advisor or a solicitor where i can literally charge hundreds of pounds just to simply answer a one sentence question.

Luckily for us, John had a friend who was infact a mortgage advisor (its not what you know folks, its who you know, if ive learnt anything in life its to go out and search for friends in useful jobs like they are cattle! [im joking…kind of..] although not all is helpful because, GAVIN IM STILL WAITING FOR MY INCREDIBLE INSURANCE DEAL HERE! Id have thought id hit the jackpot being friends with an insurance broker…)

Anyway, we went to see johns friend all hopeful he could finally sort this out for us. He was amazing really, he explained exactly what all the technical mumbojumbo meant, what it was all the mortgage lenders were looking at/for and explained the whole process to us like the retards we are. He set us up a credit score account so we could see a full credit report (usually these cost a couple hundred pounds to obtain) but despite his good cup of tea making and cute dogs, the results were still a negative. We went through the credit reports and he showed us exactly what it was that was costing us our mortgage.

Now, let me take you back to what seemed like a great night a year prior, It was my 20th birthday, id met my friends up town and we had got inexplicably drunk, ending up in snobs to dance on the sticky floor and wait for hours to take a piss, after breaking the seal. God knows what the night entailed cause I was so pissed I cant remember half of it, but I know it resulted in having a pump truck on our front garden and many hungover lodgers to indulge in a greasy breakfast the next morning. At some point throughout the night however, john had gone missing (this isn’t alarming, when everyone’s drunk we don’t really pay attention to what’s going on and mixed with the fact john likes to have a wonder when he’s drunk, we often lose him for half an hr or so). So, john had done his usual wonder off on a drunken adventure whilst we were digging into a dirty kebab and being sick over the pavement. The next morning, we were all worse for wear and john came in and explained how somehow his jeans had ripped completely across the crotch, so somewhere along his little escapade he’d managed to entirely rip through his jeans and stumble back home in his boxers. Few eyebrows raised here but the more pressing point was he had a really shit flip up phone (he hadn’t entered the 21st century until he met me, I can safely say) that was something stupid like £5 a month on contract that had gone missing, it had fallen from the pocket in the jeans which had ripped off (seriously john what the fuck happened in that missing half an hr). This was a completely innocent act and we were more upset that it had nice photos on the phone than the phone itself, but now, flashforward a year and a half later we realised that that stupid nokia was the reason we could not get a mortgage.

Staring at us, on the credit report was three red flags of £5 for that ridiculous flip phone. When he lost the phone, he simply got a new one, it wasn’t worth anything but little did we know that in the crossover between registering a new contract (he’d used a pay as you go untill he actually got a brand new 21st century smartphone) we had missed a couple bill payments for that phone. 5 fucking pound. This meant the credit score was too low. This, added to the other strains on why we couldn’t get a mortgage meant we were being rejected for a 10% deposit, 90% mortgage. The only way to be able to get a mortgage on the house we had put an offer for, was by submitting a 15% deposit and receiving an 85% mortgage with high interest rates. Because we’d made the offer of £135,000 , 10% was £13,500, we now needed 15% which would have been an extra £6,750 to make the £20,250. We didn’t have just an extra £7k lying around (rounded up £6750) and therefore had to pull out of buying the house.

The following few days I spent crying and feeling low thinking how we would be stuck in my mom’s conservatory for another 6 months until we could save up enough to buy a house with 15% deposit. But life goes on, I had my surgery booked in for the summer and being at my moms meant they could look after me, the dates passed by that our two little ones would’ve been arriving into the world and we put it behind us and celebrated with drinks instead of moping about in the sauna attached to mom’s house.

We continued to save a minimum of a thousand pounds a month for the following few months and I was becoming increasingly desperate to find somewhere before the summer ended. I began searching along the Birmingham trainline instead of inside the city itself, scouting the outskirts of the West Midlands. I noticed a railway symbol on the map with a purple ‘Z’ right next to it, so I zoomed in to find a house for sale right next to the train station. After a few clicks I found that the train from the station goes directly to Birmingham centre (where john worked) and so I considered the possibility of maybe living a bit further out.

I was a little irrational at the time and hastily booked a viewing, seeing only the cheap price and the fact It was next to a train station going to bham and then had to explain to john that the house was infact over 20 miles away. But we were optimistic and we both decided what would the harm be in going to look at the house?

John booked the afternoon off work and we caught the train, marvelling at the fact we got offered a cup of tea on this train and pointed out the countryside views that were so different to the cityscape of Aston we usually passed on the train home. When we got off the train the house was less than 5 minutes walk from the station, we looked outside at it and thought, okay not really what we wanted but it looks spacious. We then noticed the neighbours. The house was next door to God. We had a few laughs both being atheists, at the irony of living next to a functioning church, but I noticed they sold cream teas in the church café so I was sold. At least God wouldn’t be the nightmare neighbour from hell. We were a bit early for our viewing so we took a walk around the harbouring streets, nosing at the nearby shops and all the real ale pubs offering beers straight out of the keg, made in the brewery that stood less than a mile from the house.

We returned to view the house with an estate agent and there’s not much I can say to be honest, from the minute we walked through the front door, it didn’t disappoint. Yes it wasn’t decorated to our taste, and yes there was work that needed to be done, but it was literally three times the size of the houses we could afford in Birmingham. It was three bedrooms with a bathroom the size of a double bedroom, a large garden and a fairly modern kitchen with an attaching lean to for a utility. We left feeling we had a huge decision to make, walked back up to the town centre (which was 5 minutes away) and had a drink in a local cocktail bar. The price of the house was the lowest we’d found, the size was bigger than some of the £200k houses we’d looked at in Birmingham and most importantly, we could just about afford 15% deposit on this house. However, it was in a town we had never been to before, 20 miles from home.

But to skip to the point, after visiting the town a few times, doing research on the area, meeting the homeowner and crying stressed tears, we made an offer. And the home owner accepted.

Now again, in my head I thought great, we hand over the money, exchange the contracts and collect the keys, done. Nope.

The process took four months. FOUR MONTHS.

There were searches and surveys done for things I didn’t even understand or realise they needed to do, it goes through one solicitor to another and the time it took was just ridiculous. Who’d have thought a coal mining search needed to be done on the property? The searches (which may be more or less depending on your property) were; Local Authority, Water and Drainage, Environmental, Commons Registration, Coal Mining, Land Charges, Index Map Search, Disadvantaged Areas, Chancel Repair and Indemnity Insurance. Like Wtf?? I hope john understood what all these were because I just smiled and nodded and hoped I wasn’t being ripped off. Check Fridays move for the definition of these conveyancing searches. Then there are surveys, which included; A basic valuation, a house buyers report and inspection and a full structural survey (again surveys may vary). Check Fidler for further definitions on surveys.

Did I mention each one of these costs hundreds? Well, yepp. After all the stress of saving up the deposit, securing the house and the stress of coming to every result of the searches and surveys, not knowing if today would be the day we are told we couldn’t buy the house because of various issues (after we had paid hundreds for the tests to be done) we were handed a huge bill. I’m not going to lie, we knew it was coming, but we weren’t prepared for the entire cost of the whole process. The whole process requires (can be more or less depending on the expertise and services you required) the (15%) deposit (most commonly 10%), estate agent fees if the house you are purchasing is listed with an estate agent, solicitor fees, mortgage advisor fees, search fees, survey fees, stamp duty (depends on your circumstance and the price of the property you are purchasing), land registry, VAT (if you are required to pay stamp duty) and the bills required for general home owning for the month you are moving in. (I.e, set up the water, electricity, etc, bills ready to move in).

This is where we set up a direct debit loan to a family member, because without them we could not cover the expense of the solicitors, estate agent fees, surveys and searches and the basic fee’s as well as paying 15% deposit on a house. So we can only thank them for being able to give us that extra cash when we needed it. We pay that back monthly with no interest and do not miss a payment.

I’m not going to share the exact cost of the purchase but I did say I would be honest and transparent and I know a few of you have actually asked for figures on my Instagram. So the total cost of purchasing our first home, with all fees included was in the ball park of £25k.

In August 2017, I was 21 and 7 weeks post op, we collected the keys to our home, camped on the floor because we had no furniture and had a picnic. Since then, very slowly, we have been doing up the house and making it into our home and I love it.

We were able to buy a bed after a month of sleeping on an airbed and being propelled into the air everytime john moved, and then in December we finally bought a sofa, now we are preparing to decorate our daughters room as we welcome her into the world, celebrating a whole year of owning our own property. Progress is slow, but Rome wasn’t built in a day.

If you want to get onto the property ladder, it is possible, with perseverance and a lot of strawberry daquiris you will get there. Saving money takes dedication but if I can do it (and still stuff my face with unnecessary take-aways) then you can. I understand I am very fortunate to have a partner to support me, as well as an incredible family who I’m lucky to have help me out when I need it and I understand not everyone will have that support network, but you can do it, it just takes time. Me and john are completely financially independent, and I am so so grateful for that, after purchasing the house we literally had to start saving from nothing again, and it is possible to live, play and save at the same time.

I apologise for the length of this post but I wanted to make sure I covered the majority of questions people asked me in regards to purchasing a home.

If you have any other questions relating to buying a house feel free to message me on Instagram.

Thanks for reading


(Hover on the image to read the caption)


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I’m not entirely sure what this post is gonna be about or even going to include but I thought I hadn’t written one in a while so imma try whack one out of these chubby little fingers of mine. As you know I turned 22, it was kind of unavoidable considering I’d plastered it all over social media and I’d promised John if he didn’t get the giant balloons so I can sing Taylor Swift ‘22’ and quote it in a cliché insta caption, then his life wouldn’t be worth living. But he pulled it off blaring it at 5am in the morning.

I spent my actual birthday doing the craziest, wildest shit ever, literally the best day of my life, I spent the morning…wait for it…completing a Sudoku. Not just any Sudoku, the extreme level Sudoku in the take a break mag. Really was a wild 22nd. But mom and dad did surprise me by coming to visit in the afternoon and we had cupcakes and did what civilised people do before I got to change into my ‘I don’t have to uphold a reputation and am free to ruin my life’ persona. My friends came over and we stuffed our faces with posh food, talked about politics and drank prosecco, like how 22 year old adults are supposed to act…(That’s adulting, right?) I’m joking I have the mental age of a 16 year old and go out with a man child so it was just like any other day, we were dicks that drank too much, broke the ‘No smoking we are sophisticated adults now’ ban, argued about Donald trump and slavery, cried about how old we are, wondered how the world began, joked about how we manage to hold down respectable careers, argued over who was paying the bill, bitched about our mutual enemies, smothered our dogs, laughed till we peed, shotted Raki till 6am and I shan’t go any further than that cause I’m sure you’d only love to know what Josie (professional accountant by day) gets up to by night…….

Turns out being 22 is the exact same as being 18 except you wake up with a horrible headache, next to the same man as the night before, a dog that’s pissed all over the floor and weep silently because you spent too much and can’t afford the mortgage. Oh, and a parking fine for parking outside your own house and being too fucked to drive it.

Same shit another year.
On the note of birthdays and friends I have a few blog posts coming up in the future (I’m lazy and they are all half-finished so imma say at least sometime before the year is up) about the lodge me and john spent my birthday week at and another one about “real friends” which is a little controversially honest to say the least, but until then, adios amigos.



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Ok, it was pretty predictable that I was never going to be able to keep up the posts like I said I was, I knew it and you all knew it, I’m just a lazy shit, that’s nothing new. BUT I am going to try to repair this broken thread and attempt to start again, this time in a whole new, different portion of my life.

An alarming and quite overwhelming amount of people have messaged me in the past few months asking when my next post would be and when it would be up and running again. I was quite taken back by the response I got by my previous posts and didn’t realise half of you, like me are a backseat reader, lurking on the post but fully incognito and it wasn’t until you either told me to my face (little scary but appreciated) or messaged me on Instagram that I realised quite how many of you missed it, so I feel quite blessed for that. Also shout out to my mom and all her friends who seem to be my number one fans at the minute, you’re all babes. Feel like I have quite the rally and popularity at yet another doctor’s surgery, this time for nicer reasons.

Anyway, in the last few weeks I have failed at doing this blogging thing but I promise it was with good reason and not just because I decided to binge watch every single season of Game of Thrones and then become so obsessed I needed to read the books…but yeah that’s exactly what I did…

I have decided to try to continue blogging because as a lot of you know I will be admitted into hospital in the next two weeks to have life changing surgery and so I will quite physically be out of action for a long period of time, which gives me a better chance at unleashing my cabin fever on this page. (Hopefully, although I can’t guarantee because the stingy bastards at the hospital charge a fortune for wifi, I could start a fundraising page just to sponsor me getting wifi for the few weeks..? haha).

And secondly because after a very long, very stressful time living in a conservatory me and John will be getting the keys to the house we have finally bought (Unless forces beyond our control fuck us in the ass, but we are quite far along in the process that -touchwood- we are past that). And so will be leaving my hometown for my very own first house and saying goodbye to rentals. Hopefully I will be sharing the progress on the house on the blog as we go along, unless it looks bloody awful and then I obviously wont. Or I get too side tracked with mamasinteriorscrapbook stories, which are quite literally hilarious and is a nicer house for me to dream about than the building site we will be in for a while – (Seriously her hallway tiles are like ultimate tile porn). So hopefully our first home journey will be on here as well.

Thankfully enough I do already have a few posts lined up and scheduled to go live so at least I wont be lying for like, one week?

That’s about as much as I’m going to go into because my fingers are freezing and I’ve got copious amounts of chocolate and Vodka to fit in before it’s hospital time.



My Penpal, The Murderer

Once again, the title explains itself, and this post is definitely going to rattle and confuse a few people, if you do disagree with this controversial topic id politely ask you refer from the hate comments and just swear to yourself or something, either way, don’t aim it at me because this is just one person’s opinion.

I first joined Death Row Support Project (DRSP) after i enrolled on my Uni Course when someone i know posted their experience and i found it mostly intriguing. From there i did my own research in what i could do, despite being housebound for periods of time, in order to gain some kind of work experience   in relation to my chosen qualification which is Forensic Psychology. Fittingly, i decided to get involved in the Death Row Support Project seen as my career will (hopefully – if i ever pass) be picking into the minds of some deranged psychopathic killers and unfortunately watching Netflix crime documentaries I don’t think will quite cut it. DRSP is a christian charity (you don’t have to be a christian or religious to join, i myself am an atheist and i still found this eye-opening) that pairs you with a death row inmate. You become pen pals with a convict in America and speak to each other around once a month, establishing a relationship over pen and paper. You sign up for a minimum of a year and can talk about whatever you like, you can be as open or as private as you want and are able to even send your penpal certain gifts like stamps and money – just to add, I don’t mean like a few grams of coke or anything because the prisons do thoroughly check, they aren’t stupid. Also they do go through your letters first so if sending nudes to your inmate is something that’s up your street, do keep in mind a whole load of prison officers will also get that luxury. (Again, just to clarify I have never sent anything, I’m just being open-minded here). The DRSP is pretty much as clean-cut as that and I’ve attached a link if anyone wants to take a further look at their website. Also, check out my friend Heidi’s post on her experience with DRSP, her post is what inspired me to write mine.


With that said, I know a lot of you will be completely against this and think why the f**k would you ever give someone the time of day who has committed such horrific crimes, they deserve to be punished. Which, quite frankly I agree with, these people need to be punished for what they do and so they have been sentenced to death and I must admit that the reason I first applied to write to someone on death row was not out of compassion or empathy or even sympathy, it was out of pure interest and curiosity into what goes on in that person’s head. What is life like for them now they’ve done the unforgivable? And what do they think about dying? Are they just like a normal person? Do they feel remorse? There are a billion questions I wanted to know the answers to and so honestly i began writing to my inmate purely to gain knowledge and kind of poke into his vulnerable mindset (in the nicest way possible). It was from then on I got paired with my inmate and we began forming a relationship, and now I can say I look forward to hearing from him, not just out of curiosity because he is very open and tells me a lot about his experiences but because I now like to hear what he’s doing and how he is feeling and each time I get to know more about him. I do not and will not ever forgive him for what he has done but I compartmentalise him into the man I speak to and the man who committed the crimes in which he will be dying as a result of. Which I can say is fairly easy because if you read his letters and didn’t know what he had done, you would never think that it would be the same person, he writes with such emotion and passion you wouldn’t ever expect such a heinous crime to come from the author. And yes, I know some do it on purpose in the hope you might feel sorry for them and help them out with money etc but im not an idiot im not gonna be one of those crazy women who fall madly in love with their penpal, fly over to America, get married behind bars and dedicate my life earnings to getting him off death row.

I have since got permission to talk (briefly) about said inmate as his case was a fairly high-profile one in america back in 2008 and so is traceable on the internet anyway. However despite him being public knowledge, i still cannot say his name and so I shall refer to him as ‘A’ for the remainder of this post, although I will be brief with the information about him. A was born in 1969 and has served the majority of his life behind bars, he tells me that his parents are both deceased and he has 6 other siblings but he doesn’t see them, he thinks if he had a better childhood and hadn’t gone through certain trauma (i cannot mention) he wouldn’t have committed crimes and would’ve had children and a happy marriage which he has always wanted. In 1993 he was charged for kidnap to commit or facilitate commission of felony and sexual battery with the use of a weapon to incapacitate the victim and then charged again in 1994. I am utterly disgusted and horrified that a person would do this sort of thing to a person so me and A refrain from talking objectively about the crime and more about his mentality in regards to the crimes. He was serving a life sentence for these crimes where he became a skilled metal worker within the prison facility of Tomoka and often tells me how much he loves to play chess and basketball and reads all sorts of literature. In 2008 A was working at the facility when he waited in the storage room, jumped out and strangled, and then stabbed the prison officer to death. I don’t want to go into detail as I have read the entire court manuscript and it isn’t pleasant, out of respect to the victim and their family I would rather not publicly share these details although if you really wanted to know you can find them online. A knows that I know what he has done and that I cannot forgive him for that but will continue to talk to him until he is eventually killed. He was in solitary for 23 hours a day untill 2012 where he filed a civil law suit against the court for illegal confinement and now is allowed contact and outdoor recreation. Like I said, I don’t want to talk much about A in a personal manner because a lot of what he says is private and i also don’t want to make him out to be someone he isn’t. At the end of the day he committed those crimes and words cannot take that back.

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In regards to myself I have found it eye-opening talking to A, learning about him as a person and about the lifestyle he lived/now lives. It not only helps with my course (although at the moment it’s boring af) as I know a fair amount of people on the course use it as experience for their future profession but it also gives me something to do in the days aswell, it is exciting when you see a letter arrive in the post and i’m eager to read what’s changed in the past few weeks. It also brings me comfort to know that someone who is lonely, desperate and in need of some form of hope (whether they deserve it or not) is getting that from me. It feels nice to think that someone looks forward to hearing from me (Sounds like i have no friends and so trapped someone who literally cannot escape me), and that that is all they have to hold onto before they die. Dying is a terrifying thing and whatever you’re opinion on capital punishment or convicted criminals, i don’t think anyone deserves to die alone and terrified.

As I said at the start, I know that this will divide opinions and everyone is entitled to their own opinion but I ask you not to be offensive in regards to my own opinion.

If you are interested in talking to a death row inmate then click the link above and just sign up, there is a waiting list at the minute but pen pals are always needed, it takes around 1 – 3 months to be matched with an appropriate inmate and receive your first letter. Once again thank you for reading and making it to the end and if you want, click here to read my previous post!



Moving Back Home


By the title you can guess what this post is about, through lack of anything interesting in my life happening at the moment (other than complaining about the price of cardboard boxes and amount of crap we actually have to pack up) i have resulted to just a standard update of what’s happening in my life right now.

First of all, me and john have not split up, he will be moving in also, which he is far more excited for than i am as he doesn’t know what is yet to come. I moved out officially (by which i mean actually bothered to take the furniture and not just a suitcase full and stop for weeks at a time) last christmas when my first early present was the keys to john’s house, so i was no longer staying there for ages and then coming back home when i wanted my clothes washed. Living on my own has been the best thing i’ve done, i have a much better relationship with my parents and i can actually use a washing machine now. Having my own independence and doing everything for myself has matured me so much and with John being a lot older than me anyway we make the perfect team in our little home. Although when i moved in john literally was living like a frat boy with a mattress on the floor with just his tv and fridge, he didn’t turn his nose up when cushions started to appear, along with candles and plants and everything else that i literally owned. A year on and we do have our own perfect little home, it’s great but it is too expensive.

Although we love the house we are in, even though the landlord has done a shit job (he poured concrete on top of tiled floor and used grout instead of sealant) we are now planning on buying our own house. We need a three bedroom home now, around 6 months ago we decided to start our own family, there are many factors that contributed to this decision so it wasn’t just an idea we had randomly, we planned it properly and 3 months ago i fell pregnant. I’m not going to go into this on this post as it is supposed to be just a light update and i don’t need to depress anyone on an already dark and moody monday, but unfortunately at 9 weeks we miscarried and this is still a sore subject so i will post about it at a later date. Anyway, we already live in a two bed house with myself, john and john’s son for three/four days of the week so eventually when we do have another child we will need to have a bigger house anyway, not to mention luna isn’t meant to be in this one so constantly trying to keep a giant howling pooping machine a secret is extremely difficult and i don’t recommend. We are planning on buying our own home now so that we can not only have a project to focus on but to actually save money in the long run, living in the house we are in we spend around £1500 a month for a terrace with a bathroom that leaks and a garden fit for a drift of pigs (i literally just googled what the term for a group of pigs is, you learn something new everyday). So renting is no longer an option, however, like every normal couple we also don’t have 20k lying around for a deposit so in order to save up a substantial amount a month we shall be moving back into my family home (lord have mercy on my soul) for the next 6 months. So picture this, there will be me and john, a pair who have severe stomach problems and fight over the toilet and regularly shit themselves, two crazy puppies who spend half their time humping eachother against the glass doors, a woman who literally enjoys the one show, a man who snorts chilli, gets drunk and offends almost every person he see’s (even though he is usually always right) and a teenager (i don’t need to go into details to explain what horrific thing that means, besides if i did she’d probably make my life hell after reading this) and then occasionally a 13 year old who is smarter than the majority of the household anyway. So yes, pray for me. Weekdays we will be at my parents and then weekends we will be at john’s parents and hopefully in 6 – 8 months we will have moved into our own home, i literally cannot wait.

So right now my life consists around arguments of what stuff we want to keep and what stuff to chuck (john is a massive hoarder) as well as trying to get rid of any evidence that luna existed in the house as pets weren’t allowed and despite the lack of kitchen floor, holes in the garden and chewed up skirting boards, we are really hoping to get our deposit back…

I apologise for this post being majorly boring but i felt i needed to post something as it’s been a while but literally have nothing to say right now, besides writing this has taken up at least part of this boring ass rainy day where i’ve done nothing but binge watch shit American crime documentaries about wives who kill their husbands (taking notes just in case john decides he wants to keep one more bloody piece of clothing he bought when he was like 20 and hasn’t worn for 17 years but can’t chuck away). Also, thank you to everyone who commented and messaged me about my last post, hearing about people who are going through the same thing and have said my post has helped them find more options genuinely means a lot and i can’t believe how many people actually read it, so thank you.